вЂњThen he started opening up, and it was like, wow, weвЂ™re about to go into this wedding with a lot of financial issues. вЂњOne day I was like, вЂHow much debt do you actually have?,вЂ™вЂќ Ms.

Cemper had maxed out a credit card, and that both were paying off multiple student loans. вЂњThen he was working double and triple time to manage things, and it became a conversation.вЂќ What emerged in that conversation was that Mr. вЂњAt first I didnвЂ™t put together that behind the scenes Tanner was really stressed about money,вЂќ Ms. вЂњIt was really just an average wedding, nothing lavish,вЂќ she said, adding that her parents were contributing toward the wedding costs, estimated to run around $35,000.Д«ut by the time they were ready to hire a photographer, cracks in the foundation of their relationship were starting to show. 24, 2019, wedding for 100 in Santa Barbara. CemperвЂ™s sunrise proposal was premature, something they would not realize until they started planning an Aug. MessnerвЂ™s stunned but ecstatic yes to Mr. Cemper proposed on a February 2018 trip to the Phi Phi Islands in Thailand with their best friends the Cecils, they still hadnвЂ™t talked openly about money. Her father is an aerospace engineer who moonlights as an Orange Theory exercise instructor her mother is a bookkeeper and real estate agent. Messner grew up there with a younger sister, Shelby. MessnerвЂ™s parents, David and Tracey Messner, in Santa Barbara, Calif. The couples spent weekends at area wine tastings and restaurants, with occasional road trips to visit Ms. MessnerвЂ™s best friend and roommate, Kelsey Cecil, was dating her now-husband, Matthew Cecil he and Mr. That fall, their twosome became a regular foursome. вЂњIt was kind of old-fashioned and great,вЂќ Ms. Cemper used his construction van to move her and the needle of their relationship: After she was settled into her new place, he asked her to be his girlfriend. Messner know that until a few months later, when she moved out of one house and into another within San Diego. Whatever unknown forces were at work, Mr. вЂњLikewise, I just thought we had a fun day and I was ready to move on,вЂќ Mr. It extended past the last sip of beer and into that summer, something that surprised them both. вЂњWe instantly had this sarcastic back and forth,вЂќ Ms. He graduated from San Diego State the year before and was settling into a career with Cemper Contracting, his familyвЂ™s construction business in Cardiff, Calif. She had just graduated from San Diego State University and had a few weeks to kill before starting an internship in public relations. Cemper, 30, met on Jover beers with mutual friends at Bangkok Poco, a San Diego Thai restaurant. 31, 2019, though not before they vowed to climb out of debt together. Relief from what they call вЂњthe dark agesвЂќ would find them by Dec. Cemper, too, spent a solid part of it feeling he had skidded off the rails both financially and personally. Messner said she was вЂњpretty homelessвЂќ for a while that year. But for them, itвЂ™s a tossup on whether 2019 might have been worse. Haley Messner and Tanner Cemper do not disagree that 2020 has been a difficult year.

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